by Brian Routh

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Poem by Brian Routh


The endless games

the pointlessness of worlds

the strivings of egos and vanities

the desperation of permanence

to fix itself

in time and space

hands are around my throat

from the inside

the beast

is inside of me

I am no longer myself

I am everything

good and bad

solid and fluid

actual and imagined

where has the time gone

cobwebs in the corner of my soul

I look at my reflection

at this aging face in the mirror

who has destroyed this portrait

is there no more innocence

I wonder

I look at this ship

halfway through its voyage

I see how neglected it is

I feel shame

I have allowed this vessel to decline

I have put off ‘til tomorrow for too long

It sinks away into the ocean

gone forever

all hands lost

to the darkness


on the ocean bed

It no longer waits

for the bliss

of sunlight

It sleeps

too deeply

unconscious of itself

it can only be awakened

by the kiss of God

it is unconscious

of what

of where

of who it is

my hand reached out

from the mud of my soul

another hand grabbed mine

lifted me up

sent me hurtling

I was filled with tingling joy

that shook the stars out of my head

the hooks out of my heart

for the first time

I knew what to do

all the pieces of the puzzle

the dark ones

the light ones

fell into place

I was in the darkest place

in the forest

now I stand in the clearing

sunlight blasts me

with golden trumpets

birds sing out

Kings walk

Queens' eyes shine brightly

my heart beats music

a constant thump

that never ceases

that becomes a soundtrack

for my life

the tree from which I came

Is at my back

It gives me strength

saints spin and dance

God sits upon a throne

all is well

all is beauty


released May 4, 2011
words and music: Brian Routh



all rights reserved


Brian Routh Leicester, UK

Since 1980 Brian Routh (Kipper Kids) has collaborated with and appeared with Karen Finley, Henry Rollins, Public Image, Genesis P. Orridge, Sex Pistols, Joanna Went, Eric Bogosian, Anne Bean, Bow Gamelan, Lol Coxhill, Evan Parker, Derek Bailey, Ian Hinchcliffe among others.
He has showed his digital movies at the Royal Academy and sound works at Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles.
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